I broke my resolution. Everything I wrote about is a big joke. Sam said a long time ago if you're not having a good time you're doing something wrong. It's easy to write that off and say, maybe life isn't that simple. But, fuck-- it should be. I am doing something wrong.
Sade has a new song that I'm listening to for the first time as I write this and I like it.

Did you ever hear that Peter and the Wolf song Strange Machines? I can't find it anywhere but it's a good one. "Life could be so easy, why do you have to make it so hard... what strange machines we are" it says. Basically.

What do I want?
To travel and feel free. To spontaneously take a train somewhere and to sleep in a field. I've been reading about Kepler and I love him and I want to talk excitedly about him and try and listen to the planets as they orbit the sun. You know?

From the Mahabharata, Book Sixteen: Tell me what is good for me. I am a wanderer with a hollow heart.