i miss what never was.

list of things i don't want to do

1. check my bank account balance.

2. go to the airport on wednesday at 5:30am.

3. figure out how to get to the airport.

4. go to my grandma's funeral.

5. go to work tomorrow.

6. go to work on saturday.

7. get up in the morning.

list of things i want:

1. to smoke a cigarette.

2. to stay in bed.

coming home songs

Songs with lyrics about coming home and forgiveness are extra poignant to me, for whatever reason.

Pedro the Lion-Of Minor Prophets and Their Prostitute Wives

Bright Eyes-First Day of My Life

are both good "coming home" songs..

I like M. Ward's Poison Cup, because I thought the lyrics said "I'll forgive you everything" which I thought was the most amazing sentiment. Apparently he's actually saying "I'm gonna give you everything" which isn't as good.

There's also Phantom Planet-West Coast.

Anyways, imaginary readers, use lala and listen to those. And pay attention to the lines about coming home. And understand what I'm talking about and feel the same way.

patterns

Kepler's self-authored epitaph:
Mensus eram coelos, nunc terrae metior umbras
Mens coelestis erat, corporis umbra iacet.
I measured the skies, now the shadows I measure
Skybound was the mind, earthbound the body rests.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snell%27s_law
http://herz-fischler.ca/ARTICLES/articles.html
http://www.lumen.nu/rekveld/wp/?page_id=340
http://thefloatinglibrary.com/2009/02/13/a-new-refutation-of-time-selections-j-l-borges/

grotto party oscars

I worked from 8-1:30 on Saturday, after not much sleep on Friday. Afterwards I walked around Hawthorne in the sunshine and went to the Red Light to search for a costume. Logan met me there and I took him to Broder for a date. Broder is adorably Scandinavian... all the servers were stylish and they played Belle and Sebastian and things like that from someone's iphone, at one point during a song it received a text message.
Afterwards I drove us like a lunatic to the Grotto, stressed out in the parking lot over details, eventually went in. We walked around and read about the saints and Logan took pictures of flowers.
Party afterwards, Sunday brunch, nap, TV watching.