so far

Today the rain is bringing me down.

2010 horoscope

I think everyone should always have an improbable quest playing at the edges of their imagination -- you know, some heroic task that provokes deep thoughts and rouses noble passions even if it also incites smoldering torment. I'm talking about an extravagant dream that's perhaps a bit farfetched but not entirely insane; a goal that constantly rouses you to stretch your possibilities and open your mind further; a wild hope whose pursuit makes you smarter and stronger even if you never fully accomplish it. The coming year would be an excellent time to keep such an adventure at the forefront of your awareness.

today

Today I made all my meals for the week, went to the gym, made a mix cd, had roommate Christmas, watched Sabrina, and wrote thank-you cards. And it snowed!

This weekend Logan and I went to hang out with my family for Christmas. So good to get away, and it ruled having my bf along. I also finally watched District 9, Wall-E, and the Dark Knight. Wall-E and D9 were amazing.

I wish we were still eating my grandma's food and walking my mom's dog. Back to work tomorrow. ho-hum.

stolen from fraeuleinzucker.blogspot.com

mas christmas eve

christmas eve

I feel perfectly content. I had some pretty hectic days at work but I am proud of myself for getting through it.

Things that are good:
-I bought myself new sheets, a new comforter, and a new duvet cover. I've had the same old comforter for many years, and it hasn't been white for many years, even after taking it to the dry cleaners. I LOVE my new stuff. I feel so fresh and clean and new in bed.
-Only ten more hours of work and I get to go to Idaho for Christmas.
-Things feel good with Logan AND I get to spend Christmas with him.
-My roommates rule. I am so grateful I have such a good living situation.
-The fog tonight was awesome and beautiful.
-I treated myself to a new book and some bath salts at the grocery store.

Hurray.

baby elephant

Jezebel put up a picture of a 2 day old elephant today.

bonnie&clyde

WHENYOUTELLTHELIONS that you love them.

I've listened to this song about 20 times today.




POEM

Cascando

by Samuel Beckett

1.

why not merely the despaired of

occasion of

wordshed

is it not better abort than be barren

the hours after you are gone are so leaden

they will always start dragging too soon

the grapples clawing blindly the bed of want

bringing up the bones the old loves

sockets filled once with eyes like yours

all always is it better too soon than never

the black want splashing their faces

saying again nine days never floated the loved

nor nine months

nor nine lives

2.

saying again

if you do not teach me I shall not learn

saying again there is a last

even of last times

last times of begging

last times of loving

of knowing not knowing pretending

a last even of last times of saying

if you do not love me I shall not be loved

if I do not love you I shall not love

the churn of stale words in the heart again

love love love thud of the old plunger

pestling the unalterable

whey of words

terrified again

of not loving

of loving and not you

of being loved and not by you

of knowing not knowing pretending

pretending

I and all the others that will love you

if they love you

3.

unless they love you

5 days til christmas

Some things have happened. What can I say? This weekend was good. Logan took me to see Coco Before Chanel and he bought me the best steak in Portland at Jake's.
We went to see a motorcycle race on ice and it gave me a headache.
Oh yeah and on Friday night I ate tons of chocolate and drank beer and opened up presents by the fire.
So far we've watched A Colbert Christmas, Elf, and Christmas Vacation.

I like it when Zooey Deschanel sings "I was never enough but I can try to toughen up" and "if he burns you let him go."

best horoscope

Cancer
I'm hoping that you will get out more in 2010. And I mean way out. Far out. Not just out to the unexplored hotspots on the other side of town (although that would be good), but also out to marvelous sanctuaries on the other side of paradise. Not just out to the parts of the human zoo where you feel right at home, but also out to places in the urban wilderness where you'll encounter human types previously unknown to you. In conclusion, traveler, let me ask you this: What was the most kaleidoscopic trip you've ever taken? Consider the possibility of surpassing it in the next 12 months.

i'm late to work!

tUnE-YaRdS "Fiya" from dublab on Vimeo.

you are what you love

Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
Donald Kaufman: Whats up?
Charlie Kaufman: Thank you.
Donald Kaufman: For what?

michael hurley-the tea song

I am sorting out my tapes and this song came on. Beautiful.


Turn on the tea and let it brew
I like six cups not one or two
My nerves are shaking and my heart is breaking
It's just because of all the tea I take
Bring out the cups and honey too
Turn on the tea and let it brew
I don't care that she's left me
Just so long as the cupboard's full of tea
Poor old Budda turned into stone
That's why I drink tea alone
Budda made of stone and his eyes are ruby
But his thoughts and dreams are distilled in the tea
I'll drink my tea and sit and drink
Conjure up the leprechaun to dance on the steel
I'm drinking my tea and it's getting late
Thought I heard somebody pass my gate
I don't know and I wonder what's to become of me
Sitting up all night listening to the CBC

internacional

This is the sexiest song ever. A woman with a Spanish accent listing cities in this world is a sweet sweet lullaby to my tired ears:



Sabina Sciubba, speaker of six languages and singer from Brazilian Girls: